Meaning of existence!
I think I entered the drug game to revolt against everything that “modern society” put upon me. I was tired of proving myself worthy and running for attention so I decided to be everything contrary to what they expected from me. I started to listen to punk music and then I became one. Being with other punkers led me to my first experience with pills and glue. I started to openly confront my parents and became a big problem for my family and school. Some called me young and totaly crazy. “Will you blame me if you become a real junky in few years?” one guy asked me. This guy was first one to gave me heroin and he is dead today. In that first stage of my drug addiction, heroin became my false sanctuary where I tried to hi-de from my problems that were becoming bigger and bigger. I couldn’t handle the huge burden of guilt and pain that I felt when I was sober, so heroin became my everyday habit. Soon, instead of freedom that I wan-ted so badly, I found myself in the cla-ws of slavery. I had to humiliate myself to get the thing I couldn’t live without anymore. I became a slave! Every attempt to free myself from heroin was another disappointment and there were too many of them. So I totally lost hope that I will ever again be normal. That’s the time when the worst moments of my life came, when I gave myself completely to a loser mentality, totally incapable of living a normal life. In those desperate moments, in tears, I prayed that God would see how hard it is for me and to help me. One day, after being in a hospital, I was taken to “Raskrsce Teen Challenge”. There I saw something I never thought could happen! I saw others with similar life story like mine who succeeded! At that moment hope started to rise in me. I started to think that maybe I wouldn’t die as a drug addict. I saw that there is God in all that changed lives.
The new hope was given to me! At that moment I decided to enter Raskrsce Teen Challenge rehabilita-tion program and that was probably the best decision I have made in my life. I only expected to get clean from heroin, but God surprised me and gave me much more. My broken family relationships are now my past. Now I get along with my mom and dad better than ever. Friends that I have gained through this program are the real ones that will last for my whole life. They laugh and carry the real joy in themselves.
And me? I have found my freedom and the meaning of my existence and all because I took the chance when it was given to me.